How to Be Better at Sex in Second Life

Sex in Second Life can be fun and exciting. It’s not the same as sex in the real world for obvious reasons. Any physical touch is one-sided. But it’s also casual and consequence free (for the most part). In Second Life, you can explore things that you would never experience in the real world. When done right, virtual sex is explosive. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t know what they are doing.

I’m here to help.

No Touching!

Let’s get some obvious things out of the way first. You probably won’t be in the same room as your Second Life sex partner. If you were, you’d probably just have sex, right? I mean, I’m sure it happens in rare instances. Generally speaking, Second Life sex is simulated.

That doesn’t mean no one gets to cum. Almost everyone claims to cum in Second Life. It would be rude not to. Some people really are stimulating themselves to climax. They use a toy or take the hands-on approach. I’m gonna assume y’all don’t need help with that.

What I’m talking about here is everything else. For lack of a better term, I’ll refer to it as the “role-play” elements of Second Life sex. In large part, that’s what Second Life is. It’s a combination of visual, text and sometimes verbal stimuli that help us play out our fantasies. This can be as simple as a motorcycle ride with my partner or steamy sex afterwards in our hot tub.

There can be a lot to keep track of. It can be distracting to have to manipulate a bunch of menus during Second Life sex. As a general rule of thumb, don’t invest your energy into something that diminishes your enjoyment.

That’s going to mean different things for different people. Just like in the real world, sexual compatibility is important. If you are highly responsive to visual stimuli, you might spend a lot of time adjusting animations. Meanwhile, your less visual partner may get frustrated with all the futzing around.

Engagement

The most important thing to me is engagement. Emoting is important. It’s the core of Second Life sex. That doesn’t mean you have to spend all of your time typing. But if I am wondering whether or not you’re still there… you’re doing it wrong.

When I was working as an escort, it was important that I figured out my client’s preferences on the fly. Sometimes, they would be listed conveniently in the person’s profile. But you can’t always rely on that. So I would throw things out there and see what they respond to.

For example, I call a client “daddy”. If he calls me “babygirl” in response, I know the dynamic he’s looking for. If it goes unremarked on, I’ll try a different approach. Wiggle my ass and see if he spanks it. Or spank him and see if he calls me “mommy”.

You can do all of this in advance. That’s often the case in an escort-client interaction. The client may tell you, “I like to eat ass, is that okay?” You can negotiate these things up front. Heck, I’d recommend it if you’re sexual appetites stray too far from vanilla.

But there is something to be said for figuring it out on the fly. There’s a playful exchange. A back-and-forth as partners figure each other out. Little surprises. A touch that makes things so much hotter. The most important organ in Second Life sex is the mind (unless you’re giving yourself a happy ending).

So engage, engage, engage. “Ooooo baby, yeah, OMG” All that is fine. But if that’s all you’ve got, you’re boring. Mix it up. Use your imagination. Be specific. Don’t just kiss me. Tell me where you’re kissing me. What kind of kiss is it? Tender, wet, passionate? Is tongue involved? In order for me to feel it, you have to be descriptive.

Timing and Stamina

My biggest pet peeve in Second Life is guys who want to fuck for hours. In my experience, it’s always guys. I think I know why. Well, actually two reasons. One is that in the real world they usually struggle to hang in there. I get it. But more than an hour is overkill. Even an hour is pushing it frankly.

The other reason this happens is that guys are edging. One hand in their pants and another on the keyboard. That’s fine. I don’t mind that. If you manage to nut off, I’m thrilled honestly. But don’t make me work for an hour or more to get you off. Respect my time or pay me for my troubles.

Part of what is happening here is the relative importance of visual stimulation. Studies show men respond more to visual stimulation than women. Everyone does to some extent. But men are more likely to get excited in general. For a lot of guys, seeing my pixel boobies bounce all over is the thrill of a lifetime…

Bad example. Darden loves watching my tits bounce too. Heck so do I. But you get the point, right? For some guys, the meal is the imagery of avatars getting it on and the emoting is the side dish. They want to prolong the pleasure as long as they can so that’s where their effort goes. One hand on the cock. The other manipulating poses or camera angles. I might as well not even be there.

Or worse, they want me to talk dirty to them while they do next to nothing. I’ll see it through if I have time, but these guys don’t get a second ride. Don’t be one of those guys.

Size???

I have thought about writing this piece for a while. I had always planned to include a part on dick sizes. Everyone in Second Life can have a great big cock if they want one. Heck, I could buy one myself if I wanted. A great big cock made of pixels does nothing for me. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in conversations where we made fun of guys for overcompensating.

I mostly stand by that. Mostly. The problem is most guys use their big fake cock as a crutch. They think we’re going to see this massive member and the sight of it alone will make us wet. More often than not, the opposite is true.

Look, I’m a bimbo. I fucking love sucking dick. A nice, big fat dick in my mouth makes me a happy fucktoy. But if I go down on you and your cock blots out my head, that’s not immersive. I don’t feel that at all. It looks silly.

However… I recently had a bit of a conversion. A guy with a tree trunk cock wanted to show me he could use it effectively. And boy did he ever show me! Initially, I played along mostly to humor him. Now I am dreaming about daddy’s great big dick. Wrapping myself around it. Honestly, it’s affected me in ways I don’t understand.

The revised take-away on dick size is that you can have a monster cock if you want one. But don’t use it as a crutch. If anything, you’re raising the difficulty level for yourself. You gotta make it work. If you just rely on animations, you’ll be made fun of later. For the few who can pull it off, my holes are at your service!

Ahem *composing myself* Where was I…

Wrap-Up

If you already have a happy healthy Second Life sex life, just keep doing what you’re doing. These are tips for virtual fuck-boys and wannabes. If you’re with someone often enough, you’ll figure out their rhythms. Just like real sex, it’s a form of bonding. Also, just like real sex, it will eventually get boring if you don’t mix it up. So don’t let it get stale.

Focus on your partner. Their wants, their needs, their kinks and limitations. They should be doing the same for you. It’s okay to go quiet for whatever reason (if you take my picture show it to me later). But don’t leave your partner hanging for extended periods of time. Don’t assume they have hours and hours to spend. And most importantly…

DON’T BE BORING!