Empathy and Its Impact: Exploring a Darker Side

Empathy is having a moment. In certain echo chambers, empathy is considered sinful. Others believe that empathy is the only thing that can save humanity from these dark times. The word has come to mean different things to different people to the point where it has almost lost meaning. Time to throw out everything you thought you knew so this bimbo can teach you what empathy is all about.

Empathy vs. Sympathy

People often mistake empathy for sympathy but they are very different. Empathy is about understanding. Sympathy is a feeling. If I make an effort to understand your point of view, I’m being empathetic. I can do that without feeling any specific emotions. Conversely, if I feel sorry for you I am feeling sympathy. I can feel sorry for you without understanding your circumstances.

The confusion comes in because empathy and sympathy are correlated. If I understand your point of view, I am more likely sympathize with you. And a sympathetic person might make more of an effort to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. There can be a link between the two. But neither is essential to the other.

Neither sympathy or empathy is inherently good. When I experience sympathy, it is often from a distance. I’ll be a little extra nice to someone out of pity. When I catch myself doing that, I don’t feel great about it. I expect the recipients of my pity wouldn’t appreciate it either if they knew the truth. And please, no one ask me if I pity them.

Different Kinds of Empathy

Empathy isn’t just understanding. It can be broken down further into two categories. Cognitive empathy is logical. Analytical. As a thinker, I am very high on cognitive empathy. Affective empathy is about sharing emotions. Someone high in affective empathy will cry with you. Your successes feel like their successes.

The traditional image of a bimbo is much more likely to be emotional that logical. But just to make a point, a bimbo doesn’t have to be empathic. An emotional bimbo can be all caught up in their own highs and lows without giving a shit about your feelings. Nothing about being a bimbo locks you into any specific types of empathy. It’s all spectrums, baby.

I have always prided myself on my cognitive empathy. When I disagree with someone, I do my best to understand their point of view. This isn’t necessarily altruistic on my part. Understanding an opponent can help me counter them. More and more, it helps me to know when someone is no longer reachable.

Recently I wrote about kindness. My views on empathy link into that. Second Life is filled with lonely people trying to connect. Many lack the skills to form the connections they are looking for. When someone acts up, I have a habit of figuring out what’s causing the disconnect. Sometimes I’ll show them sympathy. This makes me feel pretty good about myself if I’m being completely honest.

The Sadist

As I was pondering the virtues of kindness and empathy, I came across an article from my old boss. Jess’ post is very well written. I highly recommend that everyone read it. It kind of knocked me on my ass. Because on some level, I was revolted by the cruelty she discussed. I don’t think I have ever wanted to hurt anyone. Not even people I was mad at.

But other than that one thing, I could relate to a lot of what Jess wrote. I am almost obsessively cognitively empathic. Heck, I have kept in touch with Jess largely because I wanted to figure out what makes her tick. That’s after she fired me twice and banned me from everything she owns. I’ve been very angry with her at times and I’m sure she could say the same. But I’ve never wished harm on her. Or anyone else as far as I can remember.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have a dark side. I do. Not many people get to see it. It tends to come out in erotic situations. Always consensual but there can be the illusion of non-consent. Which is a difficult tightrope to walk.

The thing about Jess’ post is that she is very insistent that her sadism is not performative. It’s not a character she plays for clicks. I won’t recap her thoughts here for fear of misrepresenting a complicated ethos. Please do yourself a favor and read her post.

All of this got me to thinking about my own dark side. I have felt the rush that comes from dominance. I can understand why someone would want more. It feels powerful. More powerful than just being an object of lust. That feeling of total control.

This is something I plan to explore more in world. If you’re interested in licking my boot (for starters), join the Bimbo Luxe in-world group and beg for the honor.